24 hours.
I couldn't make it 24 hours without a meltdown.
I'm not going to make excuses. I could say I had a bad day at work (I did), I could say I had such a bad night yesterday that I'm exhausted today (I am), but I've come to realise that excuses don't address the issue.
So it all started so well. I was coping alright at work without the smokes and even had a calorie controlled lunch (small sandwich and a vegetable sushi pack). This afternoon though, things just got weird. I hit a wall in terms of tiredness, the nicotine gum started making me feel sick and I started to crack.
Cue an infuriating drive home and a lot of grumbling on my part and I just snapped. I bought some tabs and had a kebab wrap for my dinner. Yeah, when I fall off the wagon I leap off it with a lead weight around my neck.
It wasn't all bad. Considering how careful I was with my lunch, I'm still under my target for the day with my calories. I also did something I rarely do. I ate my dinner slowly, stopping as soon as I felt full. Normally I eat quite quickly and aim to clear my plate. It's incredibly rare that I leave any food, so I'm counting that as a win.
The smoking thing is what has annoyed me the most. I know a lot of people have issues in the early days of giving up, but I at least hoped I could have lasted more than 24 hours before I cracked.
I am going to hope that tiredness was the main issue so I'm going to try and get a good night's sleep tonight and try to stop again tomorrow. I definitely want to be smoke free over the weekend, when I can chill out and avoid stress as much as possible.
Ah well, it's a marathon, not a sprint...
No comments:
Post a Comment